Ponderings of Shortcomings

I was recently asked how many years of education do I have and sadly I didn't really know. Is that a bad thing? So I did a little calculating and digging up a few numbers and this is what I have determined. I have 10.5 years of post secondary schooling or about $80,000 worth, 2.5 years of technical schooling or about $8,000 and a mere 6 months of adult ed classes or $500...for a grand total of, just kidding. Not bad, only twenty-five years of schooling (excluding the University of Hard Lumps), but that number seriously concerns me. How did I manage to get that much edu-macation? Am I educated beyond my intelligence?

Another quick research of my life and there was a startling discovery. A failure in one sliver of my life would spiral me out of control until I augured into the academic community again. A community that I tend to do fairly well and put a lot of effort into my scholastic responsibilities. Is it just me, or does it sound like academia is my comfort zone, my teddy bear, my blankie, the one place that I have learned how to succeed in no matter the daunting task before me? Even with all those years of schooling, my grammar skills are that of a baboon!

Now I stand at a cross-roads with another degree at my back and wonder, where do I go from here? My career, for which I am over educated for, is established and developing, my scholastic resume is not to shabby, my hobbies exist but are atrophied and my personal life is in shambles. Yeah, that is what I thought, I need to exercise my hobbies! If we don't have our hobbies, what exactly is a person left with? A boring existence? I can't have that, that would not look good on my resume. I think I will start right away and what better way to start than a little mechanic-ing on the motorcycle!


What's that you say? Hang on a minute, I have a special request from the peanut gallery.
Maybe you should get a girlfriend?
Hum...I guess that could be a possibility for advancement in my life. I am going to have to check the book on this one....uh huh...hum...yeah...OH...uh huh... Yeap, I am too old for a girlfriend. It says so right on page 395 paragraph 6 Line 8. So with regards to my advanced age, I sadly have to report that a 'girl' friend is out of the picture. I might be able to find me a single lady, but I am afraid that a 'girl' would be much to young. The age difference is not so much the issue as the issue of maturity, not so much into all the dating games that get played. Been there, done that and now prefer the straight shooting approach.

Um, wow that is a lot of hands...This is not a press conference, I will take one more question from the peanut gallery than I need to move on.
What are you looking for in a woman?
Ha ha ha ha ha ha....That's all folks, I am out of time here. See you all next time...