How dumb do they think we are?

Capitalism has screwed the American People once again because of greed! Don't you just love how CEOs make millions of dollars and now that their decisions have drastically failed their companies, we the tax payers are going to get saddled with their bad decisions.
Whether it be the select democrats that decided to not allow the US to buy oil directly from IRAQ at a reduced price; so Iraq sold the stockpiled oil that was set aside to China at full price and made a killing on the oil. Which explains the HUGE budget surplus in a country we are spending billions of dollars trying to stabilize.
Or maybe the lets create local jobs but giving housing loans to high risk applicants at rates they never can afford to repay to stimulate the economy. Do they think that suddenly these people will be able to afford to pay for a house that is two to three times more than they can afford if they are fiscally responsible?
Maybe it is the fact that politicians have sold their souls to giant cooperations so they can get elected and than look the other way when big money fleeces the American Taxpayers.
Or maybe we are all responsible for taking what is handed to us and thinking that we not only deserve it, but feeling that we deserve even more. The only free lunch is the one that you grew in your garden.
When will this stop? When McCain gets elected? When Obama becomes the president who couldn't make a decision to save his life? This stops when the American people say ENOUGH!!!

Stupid People

We all have them, those little pet peeves that just IRRITATE us to the point where we just want to physically hurt someone. For me one of these peeves are call center employees who treat you like you are a complete idiot who barely knows how to unpack an electronic device let alone operate one. I am sure there are plenty of people who call in with a problem and the only thing wrong is they don't have power to the computer, but really if the person you are talking to knows the lingo and the steps on the trouble shooting flow chart you are reading to them, don't you think they might know something? Who do they really think developed the step by step trouble shooting guide? It might just have been an IT Field Technician who has experienced problems before and know what to check and to tweak to make things work.

Recently I had a brand new USB Flash Drive fail, which shocked me because I have NEVER failed one in my life. Yeah, I have recovered data off of smashed devices, I have dried devices out, I have even used a device for years that has no exterior skin. I know I am not a full time IT Guru who spends hours fixing problems after problems on computers, but I do know a thing or two about computers and non-functioning hot-swap devices. I found it truly amazing when the person on the other end of the phone told me to verify with my network administrator that I had the rights to use USB drives. Now maybe it was highly rude of me to say, "Hang on let me ask...Hey, Carl did you give yourself the rights to access USB drives? Are you sure? Cause this lady thinks that might be why my, or your, USB Flash Drive quit working. Ok, I will tell her that Fred said Carl is too stupid and irresponsible to have any rights..."

All in all, I do like the products the company makes and will probably continue to use them, but their Technical Support is like standing at the customer service counter at OfficeMAX. And yes, the manager there hates me for my response to the question, "Well did you try it in another computer?"

What a week...

Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.

Not sure how y'all are doing, but this one REALLY improved my 'personality'. Kind of a mid-week course correction, something that we all can use every now and again...

Long roads...

This week I have been just trying to get all worked up so I would have something to rant about, but that hasn't helped me out much. Even driving around with expired tags in front of a cop didn't amount to a traffic ticket. What does a guy have to do to get irritated? Other than a lack of sleep, busy work schedule, driving straight lonely roads and scaring a few people with the video yesterday; it has been an excellent week. Maybe it is the Egyptian cotton sheets I procured over the weekend. Toodles and remember it is all down hill from here...

Lack of Human Foresight!

I am sure you are all aware of the latest warning about cell phone usage causing brain cancer, but for those who haven't heard, yeah talking on the cell phone might increase your chances of brain cancer. Your increased chance hinges on you actually possessing the organ that houses thought processes and memory, so I am sure some of you will be ok and have nothing to worry about; but for the rest of us...

My concern at this point, since I am a hard headed Norwegian will I be okay? Does the extra thickness to my brain protector help shield it from the radiation that will eventually lead to the demise of my brain cells? Such things to consider and to research, along with if the radiation from the phone causes brain cancer, wouldn't it also cause skin cancer and cancer of the ear? If I remember my physics correctly radiation diminishes with at least the square of the radius, and maybe more like the quartic or the radius with some dependence on material density.

So whatever, I will take these 'experts opinion' and start to worry about this negative radiation coming off my cell phone, but I have a lot of questions. How does the radiation vary between talking and standby operation of the phone? Does wrapping the phone in aluminum foil ruin its reception? Should I wrap the side of my head in aluminum foil? What kind of radiation concerns should I have about this new fangled bluetooth headset? Should I resort to smoke signals and start to worry about lung cancer?

As you can see, I am very confused by all this opinion that has hit the news; so difficult to just take the opinion of someone who has less education than I do and accept it as being factual. Any person who has enough education realizes that there are no hard facts in the real world, just statistical probabilities of occurrences. Giving the experts the benefit of research, if having the phone next to your ear is bad for your brain, I would assume that any body part that is located close to the phone would also have an increased probability of some form of cancer. With that in mind, gentlemen where is you phone when using your bluetooth or waiting for a phone call? Your front pocket? Are you wearing lead lined boxers? I checked at Target and it seems they no longer carry boxers with the option lead lining, so I have been unable to find any. Now ladies, where do you store your phone? How often do you let the kids talk on a cell phone?

I leave you all to contemplate your usage and storage of your suspected cancer causing device...Until next week...

Ol' Fashion Game of Tag!

• Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
• Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
• Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

1. I am a workaholic (Those who work hard, play even harder).
2. I am a Captain on a Volunteer Fire Department.
3. Caffeine is my friend, my compadre, my amigo, my partner in crime.
4. I am man enough to wear pink.
5. I need a vacation in a remote location, preferably a mountain cabin with a hot tub and a view.
6. I enjoy taking bumble bees to the face, wearing a leather jacket when it is 94°F outside, know it is easier to breath at 60 mph and know the smell of my own helmet.
7. I don't believe in Love at first Sight (so you just might want to walk by again).

I tag the following for the next one...

1. Tag Backs (Yes, I am sure it is cheating, but she didn't call no tag backs!)
   
2. Travelling S & C
3. Durk
4. Country Bumpkins
5. Not my Roommates
6. A time of her Life
7. 190 feet in the Air

The Inconsistancy of Time!

Have you ever wondered how many things you were conditioned to believe growing up as inalienable truths are actually just perceptions of reality? Is a gallon of gas really a gallon? Is a minute really 60 seconds?

Nothing is exact because we have been conditioned that nothing can be exact so we should learn to accept some variation in amounts. IF it is so difficult to dispense exactly one gallon of gas, than why is the statistical average less than a gallon? Capitalism has learned to take this perception of inaccuracy to mean if we can be off as much as three percent from the actual amount, how can we accurately provide 97% percent of what the customer expects?

We accept this error all the time without even thinking about it, but in reality we should be questioning these discrepancies. If your paycheck was 3% below what it was supposed to be would you just accept that as a billing system inaccuracy? If your watch gained 1.8 seconds every minute would you just recalibrate your watch everyday to adjust the time?

Now I know it is easy to find fault with something that we know to be true, but how well do we know the constants in our life? If we are unable to perceive the inaccuracies in the known variables in the equation of life, how are we EVER going to be able to recognize the faults with the unknowns? Is having faith that the unknown are no more inaccurate than the knowns a good assumption?

How long do you spend looking at your average blog? 30 seconds? A minute? I am going to say less than 15 seconds! So next time you are blog travelling, time yourself to see how long you are at any one given blog, and for those who like playing with numbers compute the average for your entire travels. I would be interested in knowing what you discover, for those who are not afraid to share feel free to post your results(how long you think you spend, along with your actual average) as a comment.

The real question becomes, "Does our perception match reality?"

Something New

What are we teaching our kids? Oh my...

This week I open my comments to YOUR rants on this music video. I do apologize for walking around singing the tune, kind of catchy actually...

Cell Phone Etiquette?

Have you ever had some one just right up in your personal space? You know, violating your no fly cell phone zone? That bubble surrounding our inner core that NO ONE should EVER violate and especially not with a cell phone? Cell phones just get all up in your space and it makes me feel harassed and violated. A cell phone should not be able to alter my essence, they are a communication tool not a GPS equipped electronic monitoring and tracking device.

I am not sure, but maybe my perception of the no talk cell zone is slightly skewed; but I find it highly annoying when I am leaving a voice mail message and the person calls me right back. Maybe it is just the BIG RED V that has a problem with this, would be glad to hear comments from people on other networks, but it really tosses the cell routing centers for a loop. If I click over to the call waiting, the message keeps going but if I hang up the call gets dropped. Maybe I am wrong to expect the courtesy two minute wait to call me back when you just missed my call to see if I am leaving you a message; or is there a two minute courtesy wait? I really don't know. Time and time again I TRY so hard to not call someone when they are leaving me a message because it tends to really confuse the computers routing the calls; oh wait, maybe it just confuses the user. Hum, might be the 10% Rule coming in to play again.

Another one of my cell phone pet peeves is the quick text algorithm. Yes I know the solution is to spend $200 and get a phone with a qwerty keypad, but for the love of money I am too thrifty for that costly upgrade. I am a big text messenger, phone calls are good too, but a text message can usually suffice and get the job done. And the best part is someone else doesn't have to listen to my conversation; txt messages are the whispers in cell phone technology. Have you whispered sweet nothings in someone's ear today? (Word of caution: Nothing is more embarrassing than whispering sweet nothin's into the wrong ear!) For those who maybe don't txt message much, here are a few words you might like to try to spell on your phone with 'Q2': Bride, going, movies, um, logo, blog, scooter, etc. The list goes on and on, but what I find remarkable 'eh' is east to type but hum takes a while; think I must have a gaul-dang Canadian phone.

Sigh, well I hear my cell phone vibrating, must be ANOTHER invasion of my no fly zone, scramble the air wave jammers!

End of Changes!

Slothful Ned is suffering tremendously since his messy divorce and loss of his job, but still manages to consume twice the caloric intake arbitrarily set by the AAROP (Not to be confused with AARP or any other legitimate organization). Slothful Ned is rapidly approaching the life of a granite statue and has reached a body mass that rivals a compact car. Ned's health is in shambles and even the daily chores are a strenuous workout for him. Unfortunately Ned's constant eating is killing him, but the only place he finds comfort is in another plate of food. While he consumes enough nutrition to feed an average family, he is unable to burn the recommended calories of one person. Without severe medical intervention Ned will soon be suffocated by his own body weight.

Healthy Hank barely consumes a third of the calories, has a very active lifestyle but NEVER sets foot in the gym. One could say, " I am so jealous of Hank, he never seems to gain any weight!" You know the type, always seem so fit and trim but you never see them sweating it out on exercise equipment. Healthy Hank has a very carefully planned food intake to maintain everything in moderation and correct proportions, and only eats the amount of calories that his body requires for his activity levels. One might even go as far as to say, that Hank is very globally responsible in his lifestyle.

I know this was a bit long winded, but hopefully you stuck with me on this one; and for those who got lost here is a quick recap. We can NOT look at one aspect of our life and claim to be living globally responsible. We could ride a bike for our daily commutes and drive a fuel efficient vehicle for the long trips, but still live a lifestyle that is wasteful of energy. No amount of legislation will change our behavior because there are groups of people who will fight lifestyle changing laws as unconstitutional. WE, the American People, ARE responsible for our future generations. WE can bring about positive climate change, We can reduce our dependence on non-renewable fuel sources, We can live a life that doesn't waste resources and all it takes is a critical eye on our daily activities. I know I am not perfect and do not always use resources available to me with the greatest benefit, so I have room for change in my life as well.

I challenge my readers to look out how they live and to find places of resource waste and take measures to correct this waste. Dripping faucets, running water down the drain to obtain the correct temperature, excessive driving, using urban assault vehicles as the daily commuter, wasting of food, I could go on and on but I am sure you have gotten the point by now.

I am a huge critic of 'Global Warming' but that doesn't mean I am blind to the wasting of resources and how that impacts the Global Climate. We need to hold ourselves responsible to a higher standard than has been set by our government and tackle this problem individually so that we might appreciate the changes collectively. Our children and grandchildren deserve our best efforts in leaving them a place that is habitable.

Now for the flip side, maybe this 'Global Climate Change' is God's way of thinning out the population. Could it be that our own human nature and it's tendency for self indulgence is not only going to destroy the rock we live on, but in fact bring about the end of our civilization? Is this all part of God's great plan for the rapture? Is our lack of husbandry to our planet going to be the downfall of man kind? Is this all part of His Great Plan?

Author's Note:
There is no mention of the female race in this trilogy, not because I think the female race is not wasteful, but because I did not want the reader to get hung up on the gender issues. All the characters could be changed to female without changing the big picture. So before y'all go bashing me about gender roles, women's liberation and all those issues; remember that I hold women responsible for men's actions. ;-)

More changes...

Now where was I, oh yeah; I was standing on the soup box and getting all long winded on my readers...Quick recap for those who didn't catch last week. Average Joe eats a lot of food, works out a lot and is generally an energy and resource hog. I think that about covers it, but those that are still lost go here.

The next character in the month long ti raid is Slim Jim. Slim Jim has a little eating disorder that keeps him from extracting nutritional value of his food intake. Jim eats a mere 4,500 calories a day, more than enough to feed a small family of three. Jim is still able to maintain a stick like figure, but not because he has an active lifestyle or works out a lot. After surviving a bout with the stomach flu, Jim learned that by constant purging of his stomach he was able to eat anything he desired but never had to worry about his weight. His lack of nutrient uptake results in severe health conditions without excess bulk on his bones. Not only does he waste nutrients and food, the acidic regurgitation wreaks havoc on the sewage disposal system.

Skinny Sal has survived morbid obesity through the advancements in the medical profession and takes daily dietary supplements that will eventually kill his heart, kidneys and liver. At some point in his life he will put an increased strain on the community by needing constant medical supervisor and multiple organ transplants. But for now, he eats what ever he desires and how ever much he wants, since the medical mutants have enabled him to consume calories while he body either doesn't uptake them or burns them off in excess do to thermo-genetics.

And next week I will wrap it all up, thanks for checking back...

A call for change

Almost as good as my global warming argument, except in the complete opposite direction. I wonder if they could toss in some diet pills into the mix for a little extra money as well as making all our meals a large smoothie.

Revisiting a post from a few weeks back where global warming was blamed on the obese, I think we can blame global warming on anyone who eats food. I know we all can agree that it takes considerable resources to produce, process, distribute, prepare/cook and dispose of the waste from food products. A couple of weeks ago I sat down with my Uncle and we discussed this exact topic and this is when we determined eating is causing global climate change. (Author Note: In order to keep this from becoming a huge post this will be a multi-week rant installment)

The American Association of Restaurant Owners and Proprietors have gotten together and arbitrarily decided that the Average American needs to have about 4,000+ calories a day to survive. Which of course they have found a meriade of ways to provide these calories to us; smoothies, milkshakes, super-sized deep fried potatoes, carnivorous pizzas, etc. Average Joe just goes along with this diet that was established by the Capitalistic Food Entrepreneur and because the average Joe is a complete washout-pushover he also works out at the local gym. Slim Jim goes along with the same diet, but he has an eating disorder that prohibits him from keeping his food down. Skinny Sal has bounced back from his morbidly obese days by losing 80% of his body weight thanks to medical advancements in bariatric surgery and drug therapy, after being a victim of this food regime. Slothful Ned is suffering tremendously since his messy divorce and loss of his job, but still manages to consume twice the caloric intake arbitrarily set by the AAROP (Not to be confused with AARP or any other legitimate organization). Healthy Hank barely consumes a third of the calories, has a very active lifestyle but NEVER sets foot in the gym.

Starting with average Joe, we will now look at the daily routines. Joe gets up early, stops by his local healthy watering hole and gets his day started with a tropical soy smoothie and latte. By the time Joe arrives at the gym he has consumed 24 oz of soy latte, 20 oz of Tropical smoothie and popped a handful of vitamins and supplements. After Joe bangs out a nice workout at boot camp, off he heads to his desk jockey job; a snack at ten, enormous man-salad at lunchtime, more coffee and a lot of elbow grease spent sliding his mouse around the desk. On his way home another stop at the gym for either a strength conditioning or aerobic workout. Joe tops his day off with a nice grilled salmon meal, with rice and seasonal vegetable and a bowl of 'lite' ice cream before bed. Total intake 4200, total burn at work 1100, total burn at the gym 3100...Perfect, right? Everything balances, calories in equals calories burned, no weight gain, right? How globally responsible was Joe?

The 3100 calories that Joe burned at the gym used electrical energy to run the gym equipment and to provide the nice comfortable workout environment. The double dip into the gym resulted in two showers which not only wasted energy in heating the water, but was not very conservative on his water consumption (Joe likes long hot showers). Not to mention how much extra waste that Joe created because of his large food intake, which in turns ALSO takes energy to process and results in the infamous 'green house gas' emissions. Joe has been completely wish-washed by 'The Man' into believe he is living a healthy responsible life while all the time he is using way more resources and energy that was absolutely necessary. So even if Joe drove a fuel efficient car, maintained his weight and lived a healthy lifestyle he is not respectful of his neighbor's caloric, electric or hydrating needs. Joe is in fact a complete self centered energy waster wearing the deceptive green cloak.

To be continued next week. On urging of legal counsel, all persons in this rant are fictional characters that while they might resemble actual people are in no way shape or form actual individuals. If you feel like I have singled you out, than good I want to make you think. The only way for global reform is by changing the habits of each and everyone of us. WE can stand together and incite change, by providing constant pressure on the governing powers; fight back, take a stand, be globally responsible!

THINK Globally, Buy Locally, Act Individually!

Stupid People

Ohio City OKs Jail Time for Failing to Mow Lawn

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

CANTON, Ohio — Homeowners who don't mow their grass in this northeast Ohio city now face stiffer penalties — including possible jail time.

The city council unanimously passed a law Monday that makes a second high-grass violation a fourth-degree misdemeanor carrying a fine of up to $250 and as many as 30 days in jail.

The previous law only made the first violation a minor misdemeanor, with a fine of up to $150 but no jail time. The new law is to take effect in 30 days.

"This is the type of action we need to take in order to clean up our neighborhoods and our city," Mayor William J. Healy II said.

The laws are an effort to reduce the roughly $250,000 the city spends to cut about 2,000 private lots each year and to address public complaints, Councilman Greg Hawk has said.

You have got to be kidding me! Can it really be so? What is the going rate of housing an inmate? Some how I don't think spending $3,000 on a jail stay will be a cost savings over just moving the lazy no gooder's lawn. Someone needs to rip the page out of the Great Falls playbook and send it over so they can see how to BILL the property owner at an outrageous amount for mowing the lawn, something like $500 not sure what the going rate is for the services of the weed enforcement Gestapo. Not to mention who is going to be mowing the lawn when the property owner is enjoying their vacation in the concrete resort?

I have to wonder where this politicians get their half-baked ideas on ways to save money. I could save money by not paying my car insurance, but you don't see me out courting the legal system and lining my pockets with cash that would eventually lead me into legal proceedings. There are so many ways to trim pork from budgets, but shifting the money to another department and calling it a cost savings is absolutely political road apples. We wonder why the economy is in shambles, could it possibly be because of improper use of tax dollars and ever increasing taxation? We should institute a policy that cuts politicians salaries every time they vote for 'cost saving' legislation that actually results in an increase in spending, maybe then would we see some accountability for their hair brained ideas.

Sigh!

First it was cows, and now this...Oh my!



What I think she means to say is that the majority of the people are the majority contributors to global warming!

* * * * Additional Commentary Added * * * *

I am not even sure where I should start, what an obnoxious viewpoint. One thing that is quite obvious is that skinny vegetarians are not very articulate, nor can they string a train of thought together. How do I know, well just listen to her...She can't be the exception to the rule can she?

There are some very valid points that can be made parallel to her argument without blaming it on obese people. Over consumption does aggravate global warming, as energy would be wasted in making products (food or otherwise) that would be used without benefit. I don't think anyone would argue that American couldn't use a little modification of their resource usage and we all could find ways to be more efficient with our use of resources. But wouldn't the consumption of calories just to sweat them off on a treadmill be classified as wasteful, especially considering most treadmills also take electricity? Would this ultimately end up with an anorexic
'green' society?

It appalls me that educated people can be so clueless as to what cost they are forgetting when it comes down to global climate reform. How many years do we need to use a solar panel before we recover the energy that it took to create the panel? Is the assumption that the earth is an infinite heat source/sink valid? If we all switched over to vegetarianism (complete genocide of the cow) would that ultimately stop this climate change? What if we turned off all our air conditions (which reject heat from our space to the environment) would that slow down the climate change? Do we even have a clue what we are trying to accomplish, or are we a blundering along like a blind man looking for the power switch in a wood shop full of running power tools without safety guards?

Wait, How much do they make a day?

OPEC Stands Silent While Oil Prices Spark Food Riots In Neighboring Egypt

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Despite being surrounded by petroleum-rich neighbors, Egypt is suffering the effects of record-high oil prices that have touched off deadly riots over the simplest of commodities: bread.

Since the beginning of April, at least 10 people have been stabbed to death while waiting in Cairo bread lines — others have died from exhaustion.

The crisis comes as the U.N.’s World Food Program appeals to member nations to contribute $750 million for aid to affected countries.

But as FOX News reported last week, internal documents from the WFP show a failure by OPEC nations to help out their Arab neighbor. Saudi Arabia, for instance, has committed to give zero dollars for 2008, while the United Arab Emirates has pledged just $50,000 — an amount several times less than impoverished nations like Bangladesh.

The United States leads all donors at more than a $1 billion.

Egypt, the world's largest importer of wheat, heavily subsidizes the sale of flour. Government flour sells for about $3 per 100 pounds. On the black market, however, that same bag can fetch $45

Unlike other Arab nations awash in petrodollars, almost half of Egypt’s population gets by on less than $2 a day — and for an estimated 30 million people, bread means everything.

For now, the Army has been called out — to bake and distribute the bread.

FOX News' Steve Harrigan filed this report from Cairo.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay, so putting my years of schooling to work...The US gives $1 Billion, divide that by 365 yields $2,739,726 per day that is given in aid. So at the going rate of $2 per day, that would be 1,369,863 people that the US is sponsoring. Hum, I can't help but think that money could be used to subsidize 278,000,000 gallons of gas at current free market values. That would be enough to fill 6,172,839 Urban Assault vehicles or 8,641,976 cars. Just think how much money the US could spend on subsidizing life in this country if we pulled out all our little pockets of influence and spent that money on us...

Now considering that they survive on less than $1,000 a YEAR, why does it take twice that a month to survive in the United States? Hum, I can't but think that Capitalism is Killing our Economy...

What exactly does the tax payer get for their investment into these international programs? Travel and vacation opportunities?

Artifical Everything

I love my Government, they are so nice and thoughtful. Every year my health insurance company sends me their yearly required literature, one of which is to remind me that I can be provided with benefits for Mastectomy-related services. Now I am not sure what exactly the Women's Health and Cancer Rights Act of 1998 states, but does it REALLY require that male plan holders get this yearly notice? I am glad to know that I might have some rights to reconstructive surgery so that my Man-cleavage would be symmetrical.

Side note to all the women out there, I am not trying to suggest that WHCRA is a joke or that women should not be entitled to such services under health insurance plans. I support healthy mammories as much as the next guy and totally support the cause (Yes I am man enough to wear pink).

I find all this, in your face, style of information very annoying. Yes, it is good that plan holders are made aware of 'governement' required benefits, that is all good; BUT should such information be required to be sent to plan holders that have no female members? If the Act really is for women only (known medical cases where men have developed breast cancer exist), than why send it to me. Everyone knows that I am perpetually pathetically single! Ok, so maybe not everybody but most people do know this fact about me; for those who didn't already know that or thought it to be a rumor it is in fact true.

Brings back memories of a shopping trip to the grocery store. While I was picking out some pink topped yogurt containers an advertisement came over the PA system for women's health. I think they called it the women's health corner. As I continued to shop I was made aware of the proper self check procedures, should I of course been female, and other information about female health. I don't classify myself as a sheltered individual by any means, EMT training has a way of ruining one's ability to be sheltered to gender based health issues, but I was a bit amazed with the health advice. Yes I do, and did, realize it was women's health month so such tidbits were not that out of place. I would like to know when we are going to get men's health month, complete with self check advice at the grocery store. It would only seem fair that we get equal time, when it comes to awkward medical advice in public places.

I wonder how many women out there known what Neuticles (or here) are and the medical controversy created by them?

Medical Controvery:
After Jim Webb's left testicle was removed he discovered that no reconstructive surgery was available...except for animals. So, Webb contacted Neuticles, makers of artificial testicles for pet owners, who offered him the large, collie-sized Neuticle. Then the FDA got wind.... 03/06/00

Most news syndicates have pulled their stories on the subject, so I am not sure how the FDA and Mr Webb solved their differences...

Gas Gimmics

Did you know that if you replaced your air filter you would safe 35 cents a mile on fuel consumption? Really, I heard it on the news it HAS to be the truth. With the ever increasing cost of fuel, there are all sorts of magnetic contraptions, additives, pills, tune-up kits, etc that are marketed to save you LOADS of money on fuel. Maybe it is just that one bone in my body that is causing me to be skeptical (I should have it surgical removed), but I call Baloney.

Now I would say that if it was THAT easy to increase gas mileage wouldn't the automakers being using these devices already. Yes, I am making the assumption that the automakers are not in bed with the oil companies. Did anyone else realize that the additives that they put in the gas during the winter time actually REDUCES fuel efficiency? I used to always think it was the snow tires that was the culprit, but than this past week my mileage jumped from 20 to 24 and I am still running my snow tires. So while I pay more for the fuel, it actually gets me a lower gas mileage; can someone please explain that to me since I am not educated enough to comprehend all that?

Now I am going to offer you some no bull gas mileage improving tips, now they might be a little far out there but trust me they work. Of course, your improvement in gas mileage will vary slightly than other peoples and mine, so while you can anticipate the savings on your fuel bill, you might not want to compare your improvements with your neighbors. I would caution the reader that comparing miles per gallon is probably not the best approach and one should consider the more analytical method of miles per dollar (since we are worried about the cost of driving). Side note: my car actually gets more miles per dollar when running 88 octane fuel.

For those who have taken a physics class already know that fuel is consumed at the rate necessary to propel your vehicle and the energy required to do that has some dependence on weight. The first suggestion is to reduce the weight of your vehicle as much as possible. Start with the trunk, most cars have all sorts of things (golf clubs, umbrellas, shovels, gas treatments that increase gas mileage that we purchased by the case, drinking water, etc) stored their that could just as well be left in the garage or at home. Next we have the spare tire, go ahead and remove that as well, after all who gets a flat tire these days. The trunk should be completely empty at this point and as a result we have reduced the GVW by 100 to 200 pounds. Now in true systematic fashion we move to the back seat; six pounds of cheerios (and other food crumbs), two pounds of gravel and mud, two floor mats, one baby carrier, etc and should be about another hundred pounds of weight savings. Continuing on to the front seat; another four pounds of gravel and mud, ten pounds of spare change, six pounds of misc paperwork in the glove compartment, ten pounds of receipts (bank, Starbucks, drive through, etc), four pounds of parking tickets, 65 pounds of CDs, twenty pounds of sun glasses, ten pounds of floor mats and two pounds of misc tools (tire pressure gauge, window scraper, etc). Not sure what that adds up to but lets just call it 100 pounds. Now lets look under the hood...hum...Well, we don't need the windshield washer fluid (13 pounds), driving lights (14 lbs), hood support rod (2 lbs) and I am sure there are others things we could part with as well. So far we have lost what about 400 pounds in car weight. WOW, that should at least save a few cents a mile.

Now that we have slimmed the car down, lets see where else we can reduce weight...hum...You know I bet if we all drove around naked we could lose an additional ten-twenty pounds(depending on weather conditions) per occupant in the vehicle. Of course that might be a little drastic for some, so maybe just reducing the weight of clothing down to a minimal amount of clothes would be more practical. Other ways to save weight would be to make sure to use the bathroom before you go driving, don't eat or drink for a few hours before a trip and take no unnecessary items with you. Sorry folks, your can't always take the 350 pound wilderbeast to the store if you are concerned about the cost of driving places.

So we now have a car that is completely empty being driven by a naked driver and filled with naked people. Of course, one can't expect to see results over night so you should at LEAST average the results over three complete fuel cycles. I did warn you that my methods might be a little drastic and far out, but I think everyone would be pleasantly surprised at the fuel savings and the support that other people will give you in your attempts to safe on fuel.

Another option would be to mooch off other people, and no I am not talking about stealing fuel. Chaining your vehicle to the back bumper of your neighbor's vehicle and only going places that they go could save you a few dollars as well. That might be a little bit bold, so one could also try hiding in the trunk of the neighbors car (remember they are probably going to be driving naked so the back seat might not be a good option) and being a stow-away on their errands.

I now apologize to all the readers who thought I was going to give out some HUGE secret about dropping a magnetic device in your gas tank or dumping in two fifths of everclear. On advice of legal council I am required to mention that the fuel savings might not cover the cost of the public nudity citation.

Spectacles of Amber...

The most difficult part about relationships would have to be all the little games that get played. At one point in my life I was complete oblivious to all these little test, challenges, flaming hoops or what ever you want to call them; it would be so nice to be able to revert back to those days and erase all the negative stigma that I have come to know. Yes, I am completely frustrated and bitter about the whole 'dating' game. Without going into details, mentioning names or providing links to their blogs; here is what dating has taught me.

Number one, communication spoils the ability to determine if the other person is 'the one' (a term I will use VERY loosely since I don't subscribe to that drama). Rather than talk about an issue, one should just see how their date deals with the perception of a problem. Now I know it is really nice when the other person is completely tuned in with a situation and is able to do and say the right things, but that is the exception to the rule. We are all humans, have our own dilemas on our minds and often make little lapses in judgment. Some of us really believe when told you would rather not talk about something and will not cram a pry bar into the situation and attempt to force information. I can not think of a better time to establish lines of communication than when trying to get to know someone. Communication was listed first intentionally since it is the foundation that a solid relationship is built upon. Without great lines of communication, how can one possibly deal with embarrassing life altering traumatic events later in the relationship when you can't even openly discuss who you are as an individual?

Number two, deception leads to disrespect. Pretending to be anything that you are not to obtain the approval or favor of an individual will only lead to failure. Once the curtain of deception is lifted, the pain of being misled gets paired with an apparent lack of respect of ones ability to be able to deal with the true situation. Hiding from reality only will last so long and than the relationship will take a little trip in a hand basket and once again you are both back on the street.

Number three, apathy is like a termite dining on the combustible framework of the relationship. While I do not have a great understanding of History, I do know this area was settled by a bunch of adventurous individuals who resorted to trapping, to sustain their way of life. Relationships are not single story and the work does not stop with the commitment ceremony that forms a legal or spiritual bond between two individuals, much like most houses are not completed once the first level is framed up. Netting a good one does not imply you don't have to put in a continual effort into the relationship, and the effort is WAY more than maintaining the status quo.

Last but not least (ok so maybe I am stopping here to keep the post short), no matter how much one person wants to be in a relationship they can not put enough effort in by themselves. My favorite game definitely has to be, "if it is true love they will ask me to stay or convince me to return." Now while this makes a great plot for a novel or movie, in real life it doesn't work. Not all people are going to stalk you to the point that you become ensnared in their web of deception. Further more, stalking someone who has already booted you to the curb is not only creepy and annoying, but it is in fact ILLEGAL and your name will end up in the paper for everyone to see. Learn to know when you are not pulling your share of the relationship. I know life keeps us busy, but there really are more than four days a year that we can show love and devotion. Continued random acts of kindness, respect and appreciation go a long way to fuel the furnace of forever.

While it would be so easy to dwell on the negatives, how many of you saw the positive things that can be done to keep the relationships sweet? So while some of you would like to classify me as a bitter and unhappy person, I find that I am way more realistic and enjoy the slivers of happiness that I have come to know because of the bad and can appreciate the good that much more. For all you out there who might have missed it, let me give you the executive summary...Communicate, Be honest and sincere, respect each other as individuals but strengthen the covalent bond, don't take anything for granted, learn to let go of everything and show your respect and appreciation on many random days.

Technology is Evil!

A quick note before you watch the video, it does contain a couple of strong words and grown up situations so little ears might want to be covered...



Now my only question is, "Why? Why would a man want to go and do something of such magnitude that will get his wife all fired up and willing to air out the dirty little secrets of their relationship in such a public venue as YouTUBE?"

I would like to rant on about how the male side of the situation has been completely misrepresented and portrayed in a way as to filter and spotlight all the negative, but as a Man I know that we have this genetic anomaly, or recessive trait if you like, that makes us do stupid, senseless, moronic and completely selfish acts. I do pity the poor fool, he has stoked a fireball and someone is going to get second degree burns...

I wonder if it is too late for flowers and an apology?

I Do, but I Don't...

I can hear the squeaks of the chairs all the way over here in my little world; I can tell I got some of you squirming around a bit with my last post. For those who are wondering, I am not looking for multiple wives; I would take one that shared the same convictions of the heart and that would be all that I would need.

As has been brought to light in the past few weeks, there is some very serious crimes being committed from behind the curtain of the First Amendment. Standing behind the freedom of religion that this country holds so dear and that we all enjoy and committing unthinkable atrocities against other human beings should not be tolerated nor should they be allowed to continue. Can we as a society maintain the First Amendment freedoms and still crack down on these crimes? Will it result in religious persecution? Will it look like a ‘witch’ hunt? Will we single out certain people because of their name, their appearance, or how they live?

We (society) have this mind set that all we have to do is make something illegal and the problem will go away; that the police forces are strong and populated enough to keep illegal things from happening; but that my friend is where we are drastically wrong. The simple swipe of the pen on Capital Hill will not drastically change society. I don’t care if it is the passing of an ‘Economic Incentive Package’ or changing the legality status of an issue, problems can not be simply solved with legislation. An educated fool would think that we would be able to learn from our mistakes and realize that just like prohibition of alcohol didn’t stop the issues surrounding the misuse of the substance, but just like the moth we think a different porch light will have different results. Similar actions will not result in significant changes in outcomes.

Isolated compounds where one person’s ideas are practiced, taught and instilled in the developing minds of children without any outside social influences allows for no other alternatives than a perpetuation of that person’s ideas; do we want to call that religion? We all have different ideas of what religion is to us, but what should it be for the masses? If you convinced five couples to move into your house and taught them your ideas and thoughts and further convinced them that you had ‘divine’ insight, would that be religion? Would that give you the cloak of immunity offered by the First Amendment? Without providing any labels or names, is it a stretch to say that the teachings of an individual are by definition a religion?

Now for all you guys who thought you could rush right out and get you another wife and prepare for your move to my Montana Compound; that is not going to happen. There is no Church of Fred that will welcome you with open arms.

Now I don't expect everyone out there to agree with my ideas and thoughts on issues in today's society, but I do expect that we all formulate our own ideas and opinions of the issues. After all, even a busted watch is right twice a day. Just some thoughts and questions inspired by the lastest issues rattling around inside my thick skull. Take em or leave em, that is your choice but whatever you do DO NOT just assume that I am correct!