A Sliver of Me: Satire and Sarcasm

Showing posts with label Satire and Sarcasm. Show all posts

Friday, March 20, 2009

How did I miss this one?

John McCain Accidentally Left On Campaign Bus Overnight

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Clubs

Manufacturer Recalls Hollow Point Bullets That Fail To Explode Inside Targets

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Wow...

Did you see the article about the discovery of the world's smallest snake? I think they are called worm snakes...interesting but still creepy.

What do you think?

Monday, March 31, 2008

Monday Morning Satire...

Not for the Squeamish!

A Fireman's Life

A fireman's life is one big surprise,
Usually he laughs, sometimes he cries.
There's always stress, toil and strife,
Hoping he's good enough to save just one life.

His wife understands, when he misses dinner,
If he runs out of church, don't think he's a sinner.
Answering a call, is tops on his list,
Regretting each one he's ever missed.

He tries and tries, but can't make us see,
The happiest men, still work for free.
Jumping from bed, fighting the cold,
Knowing what to do, without being told.

He rushes to the station, jumps on a truck.
Depending on skill, never on luck.
Putting his life on the line, for an unknown friend,
Hoping and praying, it won't be the end.
"The Bravest Men in the World", the title is fitting,
They all do their best, never come close to quitting.
Next time you see them, all their lights blinking,
Take just a minute, to think what they're thinking.

It's a hard job, so show them you care,
And help them out, with a little prayer.

-- Daniel S. Driscoll. --

Quotes

"Character is determined by what you accomplish when the excitement is gone."

"I dream of a better tomorrow...where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned."

“Unless you are calling me pudding, stop saying it!"

"Creative people must be stopped!"

"Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination"

"No, is just the noise you hear before yes"

"There is a certain amount of creativity in destruction."

"Although fate presents the circumstances, how you react depends on your character."

"Reset Switches are Day Spas for electronic devices."

"Anything that is easily obtained is not worth having." Me

"An optimist is a person who sees a green light everywhere; while a pessimist sees only the red stop light. The truly wise person is color blind." - Dr Albert Schweitzer

"Someday your prince charming will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask for directions."

"When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition until death do them part." - G.B. Shaw

"The greatest pain that comes from love is loving someone you can never have."

"The spaces between your fingers were created so that another's could fill them in."

"Always look at what you have left. Never look at what you have lost" - Robert H Schuller

"Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other one thing." - Abraham Lincoln

"Winter must be cold for those who have no warm memories..."

"Don't you ever get nervous about forever?"

"Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it." - Lou Holtz

"Any dern fool can be young, it takes guts to get old."

"The trouble ain't that there are too many fools, but that the lighting ain't distributed right."

"How is this going to work if you don't do what I say?"

“In fighting and in everyday life you should be determined though calm. Meet the situation without tenseness yet not recklessly, your spirit settled yet unbiased. An elevated spirit is weak and a low spirit is weak. Do not let the enemy see your spirit.”- Miyamoto Musashi

"We prepare, so we don't end up at the Super Dome"

"If you can see the big picture, you are not concentrating on the front sight post."

"SHORT & FAT- 'It's a Choice Not a Drunken Mistake'"

"Amateurs train until they get it right; Professionals train until they can't get it wrong."

"Proper Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance!"

"The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed; regardless which side they are fighting for"

"Adversity introduces us to ourselves"

"Death smiles at all of us; all we can do is smile back"

"Do not confuse enthusiasm for capability"

"My tone is a direct reflection of your attitude."

"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please."

"All I did was break her eggs and bruise her artichoke hearts"

"Of all the things of my past, I think I miss my sanity the most."

"Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness." Sigmund Freud

"Bobby got the vouch...Game over dudes."

"Watching you walk out of my life does not make me bitter or cynical about love. But rather makes me realize that if I wanted so much to be with the wrong person how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along."

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"Covetness ends with the..."
*** APPLAUSE ***
Thank you, Thank you all very much; I will be here all week.

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Your computer has played a VERY evil trick and you; as a result you have stumbled upon my blog. A blog that has an interesting collection of sarcasm, satire, inspiration, humor, politics, criticism, and skeptical constructive relationship commentary. Stop back often, stay awhile, check out the archived posts and leave as many comments as you would like. For those that prefer to lurk, you are welcome to lurk around as much as you would like, just don't let it develop into full blown stalking.

The contributor to this blog are not responsible for the readers lost sleep or complications from time spent reading here. If you experience sudden onset of emotion, sleepless nights or any strange new desires you might consider contacting you physician. Known side effects include; anxiety, depression, hyper-concentration, hypo-concentration, emotion outburst and red eyes. Any relationship advice offered up is for scientific purpose only and the reader must take into advisement that the author has never managed to maintain a relationship past six months.

A Sliver of Me

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Friday, March 20, 2009

How did I miss this one?

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Clubs

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Wow...

Monday, March 31, 2008

Monday Morning Satire...

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