Handouts...

Dear Congressmen,

Due to years of investment debauches outside of my control my piggy bank has declined in value to the present day value of $0.03; which is not sufficient for me to take my planned vacations this year. Further more, if I am required to take monies out of my paycheck, I will not have enough capital to make any purchases and will have to cut back on many of my daily activities that I have come to regard as something that I deserve to have and not really perks.

If I am not given a bailout payment of $10.2 million I will not be able to enjoy the life I think I am entitled. I will need these funds no later than April 15th so I can pay my taxes (slight accounting error on my part and in no way was it an attempt to shirk my obligations to the IRS).

Sincerely,

Average American