Kids these days...

 If you are 30, or older, you might think this is hilarious!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their
tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were
growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every
morning.... Uphill... Barefoot... BOTH ways… yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no
way I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about
how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!
But now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but
look around and notice the youth of today.  You've got it soooo
easy!  I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a  Utopia!
And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good
you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet.  If we
wanted to know something, we had to go to the library and look it
up ourselves, in the card catalog!!

There was no email!!  We had to actually write somebody a letter -
with a pen!   Then you had to walk all the way across the street
and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get
there!  Stamps were 10 cents!

Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us.  As
a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had
permission to kick my butt! Nowhere was safe!

There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes!  If you wanted to steal
music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it
yourself!

Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and
the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and mess it all up!
There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car..  We'd
play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished, and then the
tape would come undone rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that's
how we rolled, Baby!  Dig?

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting!  If you were on the
phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it!

There weren't any freakin' cell phones either. If you left the
house, you just didn't make a call or receive one. You actually
had to be out of touch with your "friends". OH MY GOSH !!!  Think
of the horror... not being in touch with someone 24/7!!!  And then
there's TEXTING.  Yeah, right.  Please!  You kids have no idea how
annoying you are.

And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang,
you had no idea who it was!  It could be your school, your
parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection
agent... you just didn't know!!!  You had to pick it up and take
your chances, mister!

We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-
resolution 3-D graphics!  We had the Atari 2600!  With games like
'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'.  Your screen guy was a little
square!  You actually had to use your imagination!!!  And there
were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen...
Forever!  And you could never win.  The game just kept getting
harder and harder and faster and faster until you died!  Just like
LIFE!

You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what
was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing!  You had
to get off your butt and walk over to the TV to change the
channel!!!  NO REMOTES!!!  Oh, no, what's the world coming to?!?!

There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons
on Saturday Morning.  Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait
ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-finks!

And we didn't have microwaves.  If we wanted to heat something up,
we had to use the stove!  Imagine that!
And our parents told us to stay outside and play... all day long.
Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort.  And if you came
back inside... you were doing chores!
And car seats - oh, please!   Mom threw you in the back seat and
you hung on.  If you were luckily, you got the "safety arm" across
the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if
your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling
"shot gun" in the first place!
See!  That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have
got it too easy. You're spoiled rotten!  You guys wouldn't have
lasted five minutes back in 1980 or any time before!

Nine Year Olds...

THE COW AND THE ICE CREAM

ONE OF THE BEST EXPLANATIONS
OF WHY OBAMA WON THE ELECTION


--From a teacher in the Nashville area

"We are worried about 'the cow' when it is all about the 'Ice Cream.'

The most eye-opening civics lesson I ever had was while teaching third grade this year...

The presidential election was heating up and some of the children showed an interest.
I decided we would have an election for a class president.

We would choose our nominees.. They would make a campaign speech and the class would vote.

To simplify the process, candidates were nominated by other class members.

We discussed what kinds of characteristics these students should have.

We got many nominations and from those, Jamie and Olivia were picked to run for the top spot.

The class had done a great job in their selections. Both candidates were good kids.

I thought Jamie might have an advantage because he got lots of parental support.

I had never seen Olivia's mother.

The day arrived when they were to make their speeches.

Jamie went first.

He had specific ideas about how to make our class a better
place. He ended by promising to do his very best.

Everyone applauded and he sat down.

Now it was Olivia's turn to speak.

Her speech was concise. She said, "If you will vote for me, I will give you ice cream." She sat down.

The class went wild. "Yes! Yes! We want ice cream."

She surely would say more. She did not have to.

A discussion followed. How did she plan to pay for the ice cream? She wasn't sure.

Would her parents buy it or would the class pay for it... She didn't know.

The class really didn't care. All they were thinking about was ice cream...

Jamie was forgotten.. Olivia won by a landslide.

Every time Barack Obama opened his mouth he offered ice cream and 52 percent of the people reacted like nine year olds.

They want ice cream.

The other 48 percent know they're going to have to feed the cow and clean up the mess."


This is the ice cream Obama promised us!



Remember, the government cannot give anything to anyone --
that they have not first taken away from someone else.

Did you vote for the ice cream?

Hum...

Shock Advised

Charge to 300... Clear...